One Year in China - A Look Back
Friday, July 4th, 2008
I’ve now been in China for a year, surviving on my own. This entry is a look back at what’s happened and is written both for you the reader and me, as a reminder of what has happened and what remains to be done.
I remember many years ago, when I was 6 and attended preschool in Sweden, we were doing maths. I worked and thought hard to complete my assignments quickly, while many others were struggling and held their hands up for the teacher to help them. I too help my hand up, not to ask for help, but to ask the teacher what to do now that I was done. To my great surprise, she told me to sit quietly and wait for the others. Then she left me with her stinky breath of too much coffee and cigarettes, to help someone else. I expected the teacher to praise me. All the hard work for nothing.
Throughout the entire Swedish school system, I was never motivated, always staying under the radar and not joining into class discussions unless asked by the teacher. But I was not dumb either, I always managed to get above average grades, just a cut below those who put their entire heart and soul into the schoolwork and system with minimal effort. During the last year of High School, I got very fed up with the school system and how it worked. Especially the part where some students kiss teachers’ ass. I don’t kiss ass. I felt underestimated by everyone, especially teachers, who failed to recognize my abilities and compensate accordingly. People who were dumber, knew less but kissed more ass than me ended up with better grades. The attitude at the time was, “This game fu*king sucks, I’m not gonna play it anymore. Let me find my own game to play. The rewards will suck anyway.” Slowly, the idea of moving to China formed, and as graduation approached, I decided to go for it.